One Month In (2010)

Wow, here it is Jan 29, and I haven't done a (major) posting since December!

I'm still in the midst of my job search, with increasing assistance from my DOR (State Department of Rehabilitation) counselor - we're in the process this week of creating an Employment Development Plan, and she's located several openings and related information meetings / job fairs for me to attend in the coming weeks. Meanwhile, I'm still hacking away daily at online job applications through all the major job search engines, and looking at creative (and dynamic) ways to tweak my resume. I've also gotten myself a professional business card, and come up with a short but pointed "elevator speech" (suggestion of a friend in recovery who happens to be an employment counselor) - what I say to people when I give them the card ("them" being anyone and everyone whose attention I get for 30 seconds).

I'm still collecting unemployment checks (see earlier posts), and am participating financially in my own upkeep - which makes me happy for the moment, but doesn't last forever, of course - living with my sister and her partner and two dogs (also introduced in a prior post) who I'm "dog sitting" as I write.

Every Thursday afternoon I take a bus ride (about 40 minutes) to Oakland and the Salvation Army ARC, where once, not yet long ago, I was a beneficiary in residence. Nowadays, I go there in the service mode, to tutor current beneficiaries in computer skills - particularly those around resume creation and job search. I'm also staying after my one-hour computer session to assist the GED class instructor as a tutor. One of the best aspects of doing this volunteer service is that I (currently) know most of the beneficiaries (and all of the staff) quite well, and it's good to stay connected with folks who were together with me in the trenches. At this point in my own journey, I'm an unwaverable believer in service to others (particularly other addicts/alcoholics) as a major cornerstone of my recovery.

I'm also heavily involved in service with my 12-step program and several fellowships thereof; I'm motivated to become even more involved as time permits. Again, it's the connections I have, through service, with people in recovery, and the spiritual program, that keeps my recovery (and my whole life, I believe) on track.

On the hearing front, I'm using my recently "repaired" (once again, a prior post) aids quite often these days, though I don't wear them all the time - only when I know I'm going into situations where I'll benefit from using them. I don't have to tell my HOH friends that even the best hearing aids (and these pretty much are) aren't a perfect solution to hearing issues. I'll still very likely need some accommodations from whatever employer I wind up with - and I'm somewhat limited in terms of the specific roles I can accept (phone work with the general public, for example, is pretty much out of the question).

The vertigo aspect of my Meniere's is another story, and the biggest driver of my seeking help from the DOR. Though I've been blessed lately with several months of no major attacks (I still get my little reminders), my friends with Meniere's or other balance affecting disorders will appreciate my continued angst, and my insistence that this issue be addressed in my employment search as a "disability". I don't (and won't) drive because of the severity and unpredictable nature of my attacks - and because I know that stress (in general) is one of my huge triggers (no accounting for others), I know that part of my current "remission" can be attributed to the (remarkable) low stress level I've been living with since I've been home from the SA (and even for the last couple months as a beneficiary). Remarkable because I know a lot of (normal) folks in my current situation (unemployed, burdened with huge debt, uncertain future) would be stressed in the extreme - but I'm getting the full (spiritual) benefits of my recovery every day - and the biggest benefit is the matching of my "stressors" with a serenity and confidence that if I just do my best to meet my challenges each day, the God of my understanding will take care of the outcomes; it's been proven to me again and again now. So my "job" on this front ("disability") is to accept and participate fully in the help (DOR) that I'm offered - I'm listening to my counselor, and doing the things she suggests. I expect nothing less than success in the long run, though I must continue to practice patience in the short term.

Recovery notwithstanding, my general stress level can be expected to increase as I continue to expand my social networks, and eventually move into employment (information services, my general employment category, is a high-stress field). Though again, I have a much better approach now, than in the past, for dealing with my "stressors", I know that as I get busier, I'm at greater risk for developing my own symptoms of stress, which can include vertigo attacks (historically). So like all of life, it's a balancing act, with my best prevention plan involving foreknowledge and observation - paying attention to what's going on with me, and making sure I take care of myself before I go off the deep end trying to save the world (an MO of mine that almost killed me).

All things considered, life for me is good, and getting better. I'm hoping, dear reader, that the same can be said for you.