Blessed Incompetence

First, a short distraction, courtesy of my hero, Weird Al Yankovic:

The nightmare of every job seeker:
Skipper Dan

Above is not captioned (sorry, my HOH friends) - here are the lyrics:
Skipper Dan Lyrics


On another note, I had an appointment today with a hearing aid dispenser, courtesy the California Department of Rehabilitation - to get an updated hearing evaluation. My wizened HOH friends will smell something funny with that last statement, I know - but there's an amazing, blessed surprise in the story, and though the names must be changed to protect the guilty, innocent, and just plain crazy (me), the ending has me stoned on gratitude to/for everyone involved.

Bus person that I am, I walked an extra couple blocks to catch the "rapid" version of the bus that would take me most of the way to my appointment, leaving me with about a half-mile walk at the far end; easy for my well-toned walking legs. It took a little hunting through a boardwalk mall to find the actual office. I was almost exactly 1/2 hour early (the natural M/O of this experienced public transit user), and that turned out to be involved in the first big payoff that was cleverly disguised as ineptitude.

A sign on the door read (paraphrase)...

"We're remodeling, and our current location is now... [a backtrack location about 1.5 miles and 1/2 hour walk away]". This was an appointment I'd made by phone the day prior in response to a DOR letter that included the phone number and address (where I was) - and I racked my brain for any recollection of being told this new address on the phone. Either I had been in a flashback blackout (doubtful), or the receptionist/appointment person had forgotten to tell me (most likely). Humility alert!

I absolutely felt (heh) I had to call these folks on my cell phone to let them know I might be late. I know I was angry, but apparently (I'd be told later) I didn't let it show much; I was very sure to let the lady know I was walking. To her credit, she apologized profusely, both on the phone, and in person. Before she could get to the in-person part, I got to do my humility stint by being utterly unable to find the place without repeated guidance over the cell phone - she even had to go out front and wave me down. But I got there, and managed a good performance of humility with gratitude - which garnered me the comment that I was a lot better than some of the other folks she'd encountered (same problem! heh).

Now to the actual "hearing test" - all told, the setup was about what I'd expect from a dispenser (not an audiologist office). I was actually resigned to my fate already, but the technician wasn't! She looked at the letter the DOR sent me and declared "[she] must have goofed - I'm pretty sure they want a state licensed audioligist - they weren't supposed to send you to us!" - I couldn't but agree in principle, but, you see, I had worked so very hard to get there! I must have looked something like the rabbit right before the fox pounces, because the technician decided to ask her supervisor (who figures more prominently later), and he OK'd the test anyway [lest the reader forget, I'm "indigent" and these people know it - they won't be getting a dime anytime soon that doesn't come from the DOR].

So into their portable soundproof booth I went, and did the beepy button thing. The tech lady tried to get fancy and do the bone conduction thing, but she was having trouble getting her (unfamiliar - recall they'd relocated - the office was a disaster) machine to do the requisite narrow-band masking noise for the non-test side [the experienced HOH people just got their revenge for my slights above]. So she called back her supervisor (fuzzy relationship detection) and he twaddled around with it a bit - then declared it functionally useless, along with the speech recognition test, which wasn't happening today. He let me know I needed to reschedule to get the complete test, because the equipment they needed was at their other office. I think I surprised him by being utterly tractable - I just wanted out of there, at that point. I remember thinking "this will make a long blog post" - so right I was.

In talking to me, this supervisor (I know his name, but I'll call him Bill), queried me about my hearing aids, which I'd mentioned on the intake form, and which, in fact, I had with me. I wound up telling Bill the summary version of my "story", and apparently I twanged a couple of his heart strings in the process. He had some trouble believing the reported behavior of my capricious left HA, and wanted a look at it, so I let him look and play with his stethoscope rig. My issue had been that the aid would "fade out to dead" after a few minutes of usage, battery be damned. He couldn't repeat that scenario on his rig, but I got the effect immediately upon mounting the aid in my ear. It was "intermittent". Bill's eyes lit up then - he was sure I had a "tube problem" - not a problem with the electronics. I let him fiddle with the tube, and then he cleaned it.

It had been at least 6 months, probably closer to 9, since I'd walked around "aided". Though my right (ear) aid was assistive in the pair, it was almost useless alone, so without a functional left, I'd never bothered. You've no doubt guessed my outcome above. Bill said he thought the tube probably had some water in it, and that didn't sound wrong to me, as I'd remembered a rainy day as one of the last good ones. I couldn't do anything but shake Bill's hand and thank him profusely before walking out into the world fully aided again.

Incompetence, ineptitude - this story is full of both, isn't it? Everyone else's - and mine. My whole point in writing about this is that those features of humanity have always driven me nuts, and still can, from time to time. But this time I came home from the circus with a grateful heart. Vive la difference? It's the promises, again. I was able to walk through my crazy world without panic or even any serious high blood pressure. And nobody (including me) needed to have a bad day. Life on life's terms - acceptance. It's a wonderful way to live.