Life Approaches...

A Thursday evening here at "Sally" (Salvation Army Oakland ARC), and I have no (in-house) program activities scheduled (a busy night for most beneficiaries) - I'll likely catch an outside meeting later.

Today, I'd say I've officially begun the "wrap up" process before my final exit this coming Monday, the 23rd.

I started my day with a trip to the EDD (since I couldn't raise them on the phone) to try getting my unemployment insurance situation on track - successfully; it'll be a while before I see anything from it, but a coming phone interview will likely qualify me for payments within about 30 days - if I'm not actually working by then.

I'm still in active job & housing search, of course (and thanks to family, I don't expect to land on the street), but will be surprised if I see any serious movement on either before my exit from here on Monday. I spoke with Larry today on details of my exit plan - several documentation items I need for EDD, SS/GA, DOR, and various loose ends to tie up here. Nothing monumental, and it sounds like it will go smoothly.

I've been noting a number of "lasts" as they go by. I attended my last (required) Bible Study - Tuesday, and Wed Chapel service (there's one more Sunday service). I'll do my last "work therapy" stint tomorrow (Friday) afternoon (I'm taking the morning on pass, but want to be there for the closing buzzer in the afternoon) - and will receive my last "gratuity" allowance after work (I'll likely have some extra "canteen cards" to give away Sunday night - or keep for alumni visits).

My feelings right now are a combination of relief, excitement, and sadness (again, very little worry - an amazing gift of recovery). A fact I've learned (and accepted) about myself is that I'm one of those people who feel "leavings" pretty deeply - whether it's me or someone else doing the leaving - and it doesn't seem to matter much about "pros vs. cons" of same. No drama here, just a real feeling that I get to actually experience sober - and I'm grateful for that. Of course, I'm not breaking contact with this place or these people; I'll be back (when possible) as an alumnus (volunteer/participant), and I'll be leaving my contact info posted for both staff & beneficiaries who care to follow my exploits.

What better time to turn to poetry - something I penned on 10/20/2009, no doubt in response to my graduation one day hence (and yes, I forget the triggers behind many of my poetic endeavors)...

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Leaving Again

Tell me of tomorrow
Before I leave today
Tell me you remember well
A place we cannot stay

I could grieve the embers
The fire that stole my home
Home is but another place
Where embers die alone

The longer that I tarry
The more bereft it seems
Those travelers with smiling eyes
Sail by as in a dream

Now it's I who have to go
A space where once I stood
A silent voice, an empty chair
A hopeful thought for good

But we'll be there together
And time will gently ease
The sorrows of our parting
With memories like these

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Life approaches, and I await my next adventure with serenity and enthusiasm.